Retrospective and Tranquility

I’ve been working on two projects, although it is really a piece of work I need to do for both of them. It isn’t going well.

My primary project is a retrospective of my late wife to show family and friends. The other project is called “Brief Moments of Tranquility”. Both of these use videos I’ve shot over many years. Over the last few weeks I have gone through my videos to log them to help me select which shots to use.

Once I get started, the logging goes smoothly enough. I find it difficult to set my mind to it though and keep putting off to another day. Partly that is because logging video is not especially exciting work. I think that another issue is that I often find it difficult to deal with strong emotions. In the past I’ve had to find ways for me to distance myself from emotions that my films touch on. That isn’t something that I can do with a video about my late wife.

When I do work on the videos, I generally don’t feel strong negative emotions though. Often, it is the opposite. When I watch a video where she is happy, I find myself smiling and I feel some sense of happiness. Often that side tracks me from my logging.

The idea for my other project, “Brief Moments of Tranquility”, is to compile shots I’ve taken of things that make me feel calmer. I have video of rivers, snow falling, and various quiet places. Or at least I thought I had. I haven’t found as many as I thought I had. Many of them are also quite short, and may not really work the way I intend. Maybe, as I log more videos, I will find others. I have started to think that I may need to go out and collect more of these moments of tranquility.

I don’t have any kind of target date to complete these videos. Unfortunately, that allows me to procrastinate indefinitely. I can’t put off the retrospective on my wife too long. It is hard for me to commit to a specific time line though.