I wanted to put together a collection of transportation planning jokes, but I haven’t come across many. In fact, the only one I know of was one I wrote about 20 to 25 years ago.
Back then, our department faced some very difficult problems, which had resulted in the replacement of the manager. The new manager asked me to prepare a report about how new models might help to fix the problems. As I wrote my report, I came up with a way to explain what I wanted to say in a humorous manner, so after I finished the report, I wrote a short memo based on those ideas.
The memo is long gone, but this is what I remember of it:
We need to have three new models.
First, we needed a model that would help us address operational problems with our transit system. We would call this the Transit Operations Model, or TOM.
Second, we needed a model that would help us evaluate development applications faster. We would call this the Development Impact Calculation Kit, or DICK.
Third, we needed a model that would help us review the roadway plans on an annual basis. We would call this the Highway And Road Review Yearly, or HARRY.
In summary, with the help of every TOM, DICK and HARRY we can overcome our problems.
I was a little unsure if I should actually give it to the manager. The humour is a little lame, but I thought he would like it. I felt relieved that when I gave it to him, he liked it. He liked it so much that he showed it to several other people.
Unfortunately for me, some of the others were not so amused. I don’t regret that I did it though.